[insert controversial topic here]

Or perhaps [Insert celebrities name here].

It’s the only thing in the news today, every where you look some celebrity is being thrown in jail for being whats that word. A fucking moron. It would not be a big deal if it was some no body, the world is so involved with media and how other people live. Look at yourselves and ask “how do I live?” do you make someone cry themselves to sleep from cold words or those unspoken words seemingly full of interest.

I wonder how it came to be that the earth fell so ill, with people and their machines. I love my planet, I wish I could do more for it but is it truly possible? The world is dying but at the same time, people are dying faster and they do not see it. For every creature there is a limit to its population, to the number of creatures that can live in one space. This will be true for humans as well, and at times it is. That is not the only factor, the disarray of this civilization. Do you not wonder if life would be better for all the way it was, without all the mind sucking technology. The computer that does the thinking for you.

Life is fading, life is growing. A cycle humans are trying to avoid, maybe that is because they live a parasitic life. When you bury someone in a coffin, what does their body become? Nothing; their body rots in that box and a slab a stone marks their place, a place people avoid. I know when I die, I would wish to be buried in the soil, where my body can decompose and become part of the earth, fueling life for something else. Not generating money from a funeral for someone who does not need it.

Those children you see starving? They are not catching their own food as their ancestors. They say travel is great, but has it brought so much good to this world, new diseases and deaths. Cultures being destroyed, is this the world you wish to live in? It is not mine.

Angles and Diamonds.

A little play on words for you there, angles and diamonds.

The world is a mysterious place, coincidences and fates numbers and words. I wonder sometimes to see what controls these numbers, these fates, these happenstance. I do not believe in something all-powerful like god, but I believe that there are things, creatures that hold that lives of mere humans they take life give life, and people fear them.

What is death to you, fear, a new chance to a new life. I see it as inevitable, everyone will pass away others just need to go sooner. This seems heartless and cold to you, yes I know but it is who I am. Not you, not someone who is along with the norm or just anyone else.

But I guess that’s who I am, and who people hate me for. When I started writing this I felt happy but when I look at life. I am alone.

Highschool years make you shed tears?

I don’t know many people in my life, though I’ve met a lot. The adults were always saying for my past few years that high school will be the best years of my life. I laughed at them than, and I’m still laughing, well I would be. High school is overrated, by T.V shows and movies. Well I don’t know about you but I don’t know many high schools where the students burst into song or something stupid like that.

I think back to all the people who were forced through elementary only to crash and burn in high school. Or the people like me who were the social outcasts who live life each day going through the motions and not truly experiencing the reality of it all. I learned lots, most of it about the animalistic mutated behaviors of teenagers. I was a social outcast in my first two years, the subject of mental bullying, even when it was just the other girls saying bitter words.

Through it all I’ve become a different person, and I know everyone changes differently through their years, some of the people I went to school with will continue to act like children till the day the real world knocks them flat on their ass right out of their perfect little dream world. There are also the people who already know what the real life is like, but they are strong because of it and make better for themselves than the others.

There are the ones that struggle through depression, and those are the worst years of their lives, ridiculed by the ones who do not and care not to understand them, and the adults telling them useless lies. There are the ones who don’t make it through those years, no one hears much about them, knows who they are.

What about the ones who make the wrong choices and wind on the streets or in a black lined casket.

In the end everyone ends in a death, if it’s in high school and you were someone like me; the one person who believed and truly was alone, you almost wish you could be at the funeral or what ever service is held. Just to see them, all the people who never cared for you but when someone dies its tragic and everyone pretends they cared.

A deteriorating world.

Yesterday I had to drive up the northern parts of Saskatchewan with my Grandmother to go pick up her car from a shop. I saw such great wildlife, animals I had never seen before. A fox, a raccoon, a beaver and a coyote. To bad they were all roadkill on the side of the highway. Probably hit by one of the many semi’s that drive those roads, wasting time, and money to deliver stuff to other places. To major cities that have train tracks, and trains going through regularly.

What about taking a train as travel, I’ve never been on one, I think it would be nice but where I live we don’t have any that I know of. I’ve never been on a plane either, but maybe someday if I get my books published. There are so many ways to travel, but they are all harmful to the ecosystems. I wonder what ever happened to the old horse and carriage, other than convince. Humans believe everything has to be done within such a time span, they measure things through days, weeks and hours.

The animals measure things by seasons and by moons and suns, when I season changes they travel or hibernate. Not everything is dictated to be done the way humans live life. Some would say a life like the old aboriginal’s had would be boring. I highly doubt that, if you lived your life like that. In my life I don’t want everything to be measured by seconds, minutes and deaths. What happened to just relaxing?

Sometimes it’s just imagination.

Ever have one of those things you wished could happen, but knew it would never in this dimension. How many of you pick up a book and put yourself into that world vividly seeing everything the characters see, without going to the movies? Though that is to say being an author is becoming a dying business. With so much being available on the internet no one actually has to go out and purchase a printed novel, now they can just be found on the internet. Sure some people would say “but it’s saving paper” and I’m all for the planet but I’m also an aspiring artist of all, I’ve already written a book. My fear though is of today’s society, with what little chance I have to be published, and my young age doesn’t help the case either.

Do you know many people who can tell a tale of a valley scattered with blue, pink, yellow and white flowers embedded between the long stalks of deep green grass. Where the birds that sing, sing happily to each other as they float past in the sky of clear blue not a wisp of cloud in sight of the circle of trees. Someone that tells you that tale so well it’s like you are standing in the warmth of that very sun, with your feet in the grasses. I don’t.

I myself have had some interesting nicknames because of the things I’ve imagined and described. That is because I have an imagination, it has not been blurred and faded by Television like some. The reality of the downfall of society and the uprising of the machine, though neither will last for long I imagine.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Sitting at work today, not really much to do when I remembered I forgot to update yesterday.

Just how forgiving are you, to someone who makes mistakes? I already have today, didn’t know I worked untill someone called saying no one was there. No one berated me for my mistake, and my boss aka my mother bought me chocolate yougurt fruit dip and strawberries. Best breakfast I’ve ever had by far.

Anyways thats not my question, I’ve done some stupid shit in my life so have the people around me, I try my best to be forgiving but after awhile I’ve come to realize even if I can forgive and forget others just hate for no reason. Sometimes I wonder how people get through their days, but I remember most of the people I know are quite fake. Not fake as in hair dye and nails, but fake as in their personality is a lie.

They are the ones that hold a deep grudge and it begins to show on their face at one point in their lives or another, and just like a tattoo they will live with it for the rest of their lives, even if they get the tattoo removed it still leaves a scar. Not to say tattoo’s are bad, hell i’m getting a couple myself(and when I have pictures I’ll post them). It just depends on the tattoo, or the lie or the mistake or the pain.

You could be a hero, but you’re not.

I found a new band yesterday Superchick, good band I don’t see why they aren’t more popular, no wait I know why.

Humans are selfish, they don’t want to hear it unless it benefits themselves. I know people like this, selfishly destroying others through their words but it doesn’t matter to them, all that matters is themselves. I myself try to be very neutral when meeting people for the first time, so I can judge who they are as a person, if they are my friends I am nice to them I listen when they are in pain.

Though what do I get in return? Nothing much, I am ignored when I am not needed, I don’t have anyone to listen to me when I’m in pain…it’s a great way to feel nothing after awhile. Though this last time I was hanging out with my friend, her overly controlling boyfriend and her were breaking up. He was being a complete ass to her, than expected her to sit at his feet with a golden platter of his favourite foods like she was his servant. In her metaphorical defiance he is now trying to get sympathy, now you may think my opinion is bias because I am HER friend. Wrong, I was their friend, was referring to my inability to look this two faced boy in the face, though if I were to I can not promise it would pretty.

It’ a person like this who berates the one they try to keep with them who will never be a hero in any sense. One day maybe they will be in pain from their actions. Though what is a hero anymore, there could be so many, but how many do you know of. The one person who kept their friend from killing themselves is never heard of, nor is the one who rescued the small kitten on the side of the road in a cardboard box. When you read or watch the news all you hear is pain and suffering, the hero’s of today go forgotten and the villains of tomorrow are ever strong in this world.

Just another way to die.

Today watching the news I learned about something not so new apparently and many people are doing it, hiring a friend.  Has this world really fallen so far people need to hire friends, life used to be about survival of the fittest not survival for the fattest. People have begun to nurture those who should be the minority allowing them to become what everyone believes to be the majority.  Humans were animals, now they are parasites and though I hate it, I accept the fact that I am a living creature. There for I shall survive myself, not with the medical sciences of today the ones that draw out the lives of people for longer than is natural.

Sure everyone has someone they love that they want around forever, and some people are dying from very unnatural man created reasons. These horrible tragedies that occur around the world that occur naturally are here for a reason, to reduce the population.

To those people who hunt animals, introduce, re-introduce or mess with the natural cycle things and then have the nerve to complain about it. As an example some American’s; I had overheard their talks about the wolves that were overpopulating and killing off all the deer and other animals, originally these are the people who had killed off those wolves. After bringing them back they complain about the population, meanwhile forgetting that nature has a cycle.

Taking the wolves and deer as an example, the wolves that are now overpopulating will with their limited food sources either move on or begin to die off, allowing the deer’s population to increase overtime. This will continue in a circle if those who were not meant to be as they so seem to see themselves as “Gods”, “leaders of the world”, if those do not interfere.

Humans need to slow down, if not stop. Have two kids for every couple, one for every person. Those that can not survive shall not survive if they are lost in the worlds. Education is important, but to a limit there has to be a balance. Take your kids camping, don’t give them violent video games. History is important, but boring, let them learn the history they enjoy. Encourage growth, don’t force it.

Is any of this message getting through to those of you sitting on the internet now, those of you who don’t even know what wildlife looks like, except for what you’ve seen on T.V and videos. Go out there and live a little; read a book for an hour at night if you don’t have the imagination to create your own story world in your heads to foster dreams of exploration and unbelievable realities.

Isn’t someone listening!?

Civilizations Greatest Moment?

Better than a Facebook status but a blog to state my distaste of this world, without a care who reads or comments. For even if no one finds this blog that’s just fine with me.

People ask me why I’m so depressed, such a downer, dark minded and bitter.I want to tell them, those self center shits who only care for themselves. That I’m done trying to be friends with them those people who only care about me when they need someone to take their mind of someone or are just completely bored. Rather than being fake selfish fuckalls who pretend to be my friends then ignore me days later, only not to realize that they are only aiding in my spiral downwards deeper into that abyss they call depression. People say Karma is a bitch, well apparently Karma hates me. It’s time I stopped caring about the preppy boneheads who know nothing about true pain because they buy their friendships just like in those movies. I’ll just be who I am and try and find someone who like me for me.

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